Pornography & Sex Addiction

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Watching pornography is extremely common in adult life. Surveys suggest that a majority of men and a substantial portion of women view porn regularly. While for most people this is a harmless expression of sexuality, for some, pornography use becomes compulsive or distressing, interfering with relationships, work, or daily functioning. 

Signs that porn use may be problematic include:

• Feeling unable to reduce or control pornography use despite negative consequences
   
• Using pornography to cope with stress, anxiety, or negative emotions
   
• Experiencing shame, guilt, or secrecy about the behavior
   
• Neglecting relationships, work, or personal responsibilities due to pornography use
   
• Feeling that pornography is replacing intimacy or desire in real-life sexual relationships
   

In therapy, the focus is on helping clients make sense of their relationship with pornography. This includes exploring the emotional, relational, and identity factors tied to the behavior and shifting the meaning they have placed on it. 

By understanding why and how pornography functions in their life, clients can regain choice, agency, and alignment with their values and sexual health.

The concept of “sex addiction” is often misunderstood. Some people struggle with compulsive sexual behaviors that feel out of control, while others experience shame or guilt about desire, without clinical “addiction.”

While the term “sex addiction” is controversial and not universally accepted in clinical manuals, the experience is very real for many people. One survey of adults aged 18–50 found that 8.6% reported clinically relevant distress and impairment associated with difficulty controlling sexual feelings, urges, or behaviors (10.3% men; 7.0% women).

The hallmark isn’t simply high libido—it’s when sexual behaviors or urges become a central means of coping, mood regulation, or escape, rather than pleasurable connection. 

Many of our clients report:

• Persistent attempts to reduce or stop the behavior, but are unable to do so.
   
• Using sexual behavior to escape feelings of anxiety, boredom, loneliness or shame Psychology Today
   
• Significant negative consequences: neglected relationships, diminished sexual intimacy, emotional distance, guilt or self‑loathing
   
• Co‑occurring mental health conditions such as ADHD, substance‑use concerns or impulsive/compulsive traits. 

Therapy for Sex/Pleasure Addiction 

This isn’t about moralizing, punishment or simply cutting out sexual behavior and pleasure. Instead the focus is on making sense of the relationship you have with your sexual behavior—what it has meant for you, what it is doing for you or to you—and creating a shift in the meaning you’ve placed on sex, pleasure, connection and control. 

Key elements to our approach include:

• Identifying emotional/relational drivers: What needs or feelings are being met (or avoided) via the sexual behavior?
   
• Exploring relational impacts: How is this behavior affecting your partnership, your intimacy, your communication?
   
• Rebuilding sexual self‑identity: Not as someone “addicted” or “broken,” but as someone with erotic possibilities, values, and choices.
   
• Supporting sustainable change: Rather than chasing strict abstinence (unless that aligns with your values), therapy helps you create a balanced, intentional sexual life—one aligned with your identity, relationships and well‑being.

Therapy offers the benefit of relief from shame, and to reconnect to pleasure, restored intimacy, and a renewed sense of sexual agency. It invites you to move from feeling out of control to feeling seen, heard, and empowered.